Vegetarians and Summertime BBQs

With the warm weather here, everyone's firing up the grill, and though there are endless vegetarian food options, being a vegetarian at a non-vegetarian BBQ can be difficult. So how does a vegetarian cope in this situations? For me, meat-centered BBQs are where I draw the line. This is probably not the most helpful piece of advice, and I realize that it’s not ALWAYS possible to avoid such event, but that's what works for me. I also realize the point as vegetarians/vegans is not to isolate ourselves in this crazy non-vegan world, but BBQs are really tough for me. It's not like having dinner across the table with a non-vegetarian, because it’s a little easier to avoid looking at what they’re putting on their fork or in their mouth. But BBQs are totally different. First, there’s the smell.

Unfortunately, once summer begins, it’s not like I can avoid BBQs completely, because if I’m in my backyard on any given weekend (and sometimes during the week), someone’s grilling the bodies of animals. I can’t escape the smell of burning flesh. I can’t escape the smoke that rises from that burnt flesh. It’s horrible, and it’s offensive. Even if I come inside my house, because of the position of my neighbor’s grill on their patio, I have to close all the windows or it just wafts into my kitchen and living room and dining room. Not pleasant.

Ironically, I was just talking to that particular neighbor about another neighbor who tends to play music really loudly outside, and my neighbor said, “Ya know – when I’m outside, I want to enjoy the quiet of my own yard. Not everyone wants to hear someone else’s music.” And, oh wasn’t I tempted to make the same point about the smells I have to endure from their yard. I mean – what’s the difference? There’s no difference.

Interestingly, I don’t know if you’ve read anything about what’s happening in some places in India, particularly in Mumbai, where there is a growing trend for neighborhood societies to uphold strict vegetarian-only housing policies. People who create these communities and enforce this rule want to be surrounded by like-minded people, and the smell is one reason they really appreciate living in vegetarian-only housing, where there’s no meat anywhere – not even in the local restaurants for miles. I read one article where someone on the other side of the issue was complaining. He said: "It's just not fair. It's a monopoly by vegetarians. If you step out to eat, there's nothing for miles because everything around is vegetarian." Nothing around for miles - right. This issue is creating animosity, of course, but it’s a really interesting issue. My husband and I were gardening in our front yard the other day, and we packed up early because the neighbor across the street starting grilling animals, and it was just so offensive. So, I think this whole thing is a really interesting issue.

Anyway, that’s one of the reasons I don’t go to meat-centered BBQs. You can’t escape the smell, you can’t escape seeing the buckets of animal thighs, breasts, backs, and wings. That’s all you see. It’s like a horror movie. Now I’ve said this a million times, but I’ll say it again. I grew up eating this stuff. I grew up with a veil in front of my eyes that enabled me to grab the leg of an animal (detached from her body, of course) and sink my teeth into it. It wasn’t until the veil was lifted that I saw – and now see – things differently.

And then there’s just how surreal it all is: everyone focused on those body parts. Everyone oooohing and ahhhhing over the burned flesh. Oohing and aaahing over those bodies just isn’t my idea of a good time.

So, even though I draw the line at BBQs, that doesn’t mean you have to or want to. I realize there are times when you find yourself at a meat-based BBQ or you can’t get out of the invitation or you want to go to see friends or family. And there are things you to make sure you enjoy the food. The first suggestion is to bring food. But do make enough for everyone, because inevitably everyone will eat your fabulous food. (It never fails – if there is any public activity involving the food of a vegan and a meat-eater – the vegan food gets gobbled up by everyone – vegans and non-vegans alike.) So bring a fabulous dish to ensure you’ll eat – or you may be close enough with the host that you know he or she is planning on providing vegetarian food for the grill.

Next time, I'll offer a number of recipes and suggestions for such an occasion.

In Memory of Neptune

Anyone who doesn't believe animals have souls never met Neptune. A beautiful white goat rescued by a compassionate neighbor and brought to Farm Sanctuary over 11 years ago, Neptune's story prior to his rescue is a sad one, but I have no doubt that his life at the sanctuary healed his wounds. His powerful presence was apparent to everyone who saw him. He was filled with radiance and beauty and gentleness and love and wisdom, and I was often moved to tears just being in his presence. I kid you not. His presence was that powerful.

Everyone felt it.

I had the privilege of spending many quiet hours with Neptune. I adore all the animals at the farm, but I could just sit with the goats (and the donkeys) forever. I have many fond memories of watching the sunset with Neptune, something he was wont to do. He would put his face up and feel the breeze on his face and seem to meditate as he faced the setting sun. He calmed me.

During my recent visits to the farm, it was apparent Neptune wasn't doing very well. His arthritis was worsening rapidly, and the pain medication wasn't giving him the relief he needed. Last week, I received a call that his quality of life was compromised to the degree that he would be euthanized.

A few days later, I was in a familiar scene, sitting next to Neptune again, as we had done so many times before, facing West into the breeze. It was extremely painful for him to walk, let alone stand, and it broke my heart to see him suffer. Through it all, as he struggled to walk to the pasture, he maintained all the dignity that characterized this amazing being.

He arrived at Farm Sanctuary about 11 years ago after having endured a most hideous abuse. He was kept by a man who lived in a rural area and had several animals. A neighbor was concerned about the mistreatment of the animals, including that of Neptune and another goat, Neptune's female partner. This neighbor wanted to help the animals without raising ire in the animals' "owner," but it was often to no avail. The neighbor would put water and food out for the animals, but it never got better. In fact, it was only when it got worse that this neighbor intervened and called the authorities. Unfortunately, it was this turn of events that would be bittersweet for Neptune. Bitter in the worst way. The "owner" of the animals was angry at what the neighbor had done and retaliated in a cruel, hateful way. For reasons unknown, he decided to move and left some animals behind. Before he did, he cut the throat of Neptune's companion and left her hanging on a fence. Worse yet, he tethered Neptune to this fence with only 1 foot of rope. Neptune endured this for several days before the neighbor found him and brought him to Farm Sanctuary. (This is the "sweet" part.)

Despite having been mistreated by a particularly cruel human, Neptune never held it against the other humans he met. And he met thousands, all of whom will tell you how incredibly special this goat was.

As I grieve for the loss of his physical presence, my heart is filled with spirit, his grace, and his beauty, and my memory is filled with countless, priceless shared moments. For it is through memory that we keep our loved ones with us.

I left him at dusk, serenely lounging in his golden pasture; and as I drove away, I was filled with immense gratitude for having been among the lucky people who knew and loved this special being. Rest in peace, Neptune. You will never, ever be forgotten.

(See more gorgeous photos of Neptune.)

Neptune: Rest in Peace

Today is a very sad day for many of us who know and love Neptune, one of the most incredible beings I've been lucky enough to meet. Neptune is a beautiful, majestic, graceful goat at Farm Sanctuary and one of the many beautiful animals I've had the honor of knowing and loving.

His radiance and depth of spirit touched everyone who came near him, as his gentle, loving, wise soul was apparent as soon as you looked at him. Anyone who believes that animals don't have souls never met Neptune. His story is a sad one, but he was given sanctuary over 11 years ago, thanks to a compassionate neighbor who intervened on his behalf and thanks to Farm Sanctuary, who took him in. Though he gave his love generously, you could still sense a tinge of sadness at the memory of what he suffered before he came to the farm.

As we watched the sun set together for the last time, I felt him assuring me that it was all okay. That he was alright. It would all be alright. His dignity never failed him even to the end when it was incredibly painful for him to stand up or walk. My last image is of him lying down, with his head up to the breeze, facing the setting sun. Though my heart breaks at the thought of never seeing him again, my heart is filled with gratitude for having been graced by his presence in my life.